Finding me.

What am I missing? What are my true necessities? As I sit back and begin to reminisce this school year, I have done nothing but procrastinate and blame the world for my wrong doings. Running away from my problems, finding a somewhat temporary escape, trying to please whatever the world; getting sucked into the world to a point where I lose my identity. It hurts to say and see that I am not who I am, or who I used to be. How did this happen? I wish I knew. I seldom try to bring back the past in the most gullible ways, which Oops! I forget, I have no power to change time. Trying to make the impossible happen within myself; Oops, again! I cannot do it on my own without God. What am I fighting for? What are all these struggles for? What happened to all the goals I set before me? What about those promises to my loved ones? Questions after questions, that I can't find the answer to. driving myself crazy.. Slowly beginning to lose interest in everything, even my own self. Allowing the psychological to overpower me. Where did all my strength go? Whatever happened to the strong you? man, Questions after questions. This bullshit never stops. Yet, I am the only one to make the permanent change. It is my life, I take control. Deep inside, I have already found the answer. The power is already in my hands. What's only left is to beat myself to it. It's clearly time to let this immaturity go.

God, where were you when everything was falling apart?
Lost and insecure, you found me, surrounded..